Dear Mommy and Daddy,
I hope you are feeling better about this parent thing and my last blog helped you understand what I need. But you know, I was thinking, there are a few more things I want to say. You are doing a great job and I hope you buy “Help! My Baby Came Without Instructions” because I helped Blythe Lipman write it as I am truly the baby expert. Know why? …because I’m the baby, sillies. And I know if you have all these tips in writing it will make it much easier when you don’t know what to do with me. So here goes…
- If you want to powder me, please rub it on from your hand. When you sprinkle it from the bottle, it makes me cough. Sputter…sputter!
- When you put my diaper on, please don’t forget to pull out the elastic between my legs. When it pinches, I can’t tell you. Ouch!
- Sometimes I get really hot — please don’t put too many clothes on me. Just cause I’m a baby doesn’t mean I get colder than you. And when I’m too hot, I cry!
- I don’t like you to cut my nails… it’s hard to hold still. My friend’s mommy uses a nail file and she said it’s a piece of cake. Can you put me in my bouncy seat and try it? Or if I fall asleep in my swing you might be able to do it while I’m napping. Shh!
- If I get a “boo boo,” please don’t put a Band-aid on my finger. You know I’ll put it in my mouth and that’s not a good thing. It’s not safe.
- Please don’t be afraid to play with me and act silly, even if you don’t know the words to a song. I don’t know them either.